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Co-Dependency!
Codependency can be defined as an addiction to
people, behaviors, or things. Codependency is the fallacy of
trying to control interior feelings by controlling people,
things, and events on the outside. To the codependent, control
or lack of it is central to every aspect of life.
The
codependent may be addicted to another person. In this
interpersonal codependency, the codependent has become so
elaborately enmeshed in the other person that the sense of self
- personal identity - is severely restricted, crowded out by
that other person's identity and problems.
Additionally, codependents can be like vacuum cleaners gone
wild, drawing to themselves not just another person, but also
chemicals (alcohol or drugs, primarily) or things - money, food,
sexuality, work. They struggle relentlessly to fill the great
emotional vacuum within themselves.
Recognizing the Problem
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The codependent is driven
by one or more compulsions.
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The codependent is bound
and often tormented by the way things were in the
dysfunctional family of origin.
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The codependent's
self-esteem (and, frequently, maturity) is very low.
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A codependent is certain
his or her happiness hinges on others.
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Conversely, a codependent
feels inordinately responsible for others.
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The codependent's
relationship with a spouse or Significant Other Person
(SOP) is marred by a damaging, unstable lack of balance
between dependence and independence.
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The codependent is a
master of denial and repression.
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The codependent worries
about things he or she can't change and may well try to
change them.
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A codependent's life is
punctuated by extremes.
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A codependent is
constantly looking for the something that is missing or
lacking in life.
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